Today morning, my friend, Guru, mentor and an iconic film maker, sent me a WhatsApp message, it read – “When you think of something as beautiful, something else becomes ugly”.
This statement made my critical mind work at double pace and my pert response slipped through my fingers and I responded – “Beauty is absolute or relative? We always need a reference point, but when a boy loves a girl the first time, what is his reference point. उन्स (infatuation) का कोई reference नहीं होता है शायद. Comparison is a mind-based faculty, but pure love is seated in heart. But yes, when we find something beautiful, it may be a function of heart but instantly after it, other things become less beautiful, a bias takes birth. How does a Yogi see beauty? Does he see beauty in absolute terms with no reference from past or present or like us he is also relative in his observation?” After writing my scholarly words, I was admiring myself, more than that; I was thinking- today I would make good impression on him. After few seconds his 5 word reply came in response to my verbose paragraph – He wrote –“Beauty is a cultural construct” within a second my entire pride erected on the foundation of academic arrogance was demolished. I was fascinated at his economy of words; wisdom doesn’t need paragraph to express itself. His response that “Beauty is a cultural construct” started chain of thought in my mind. Beauty is the most celebrated entity and is the most marketed product across the globe.As it turns out, it takes a lot of effort to keep us looking and smelling our best – an absolute army of products and services, in fact. Cosmetics, skin care, hair styling, hair Coloring, hair removal, nail salons, tanning salons, massage parlours and luxury spas, shower and shaving product, perfumes, colognes…and a whole lot more.The industry which centres around how does one look, how does he smell, what is the color of her skin, what is the shape of her nose, cheeks and other vital areas, the extremist beauty conscious reach to extreme level and cosmetic surgeons are more than ready to take up the challenge to fix just about any organ of the body. Beauty contests are billion-dollar industry.When we meet someone new a first impression is first about looks; only later do things such as personality, brains, and character start to take on meaning. Daniel Hamermesh, author of Beauty Pays, is an economist. Collecting data from several countries and cultures, he has found that beauty is absolutely connected with success – well, at least financial success.Companies that place a premium on hiring very attractive people had on average higher revenues than similar companies which did not. He says the public clearly rewards businesses with the beautiful faces. In The New York Times interview, Hamermesh found that for beautiful people in general, “Most of us, regardless of our professed attitudes, prefer as customers to buy from better-looking salespeople, as jurors to listen to better-looking attorneys, as voters to be led by better-looking politicians, as students to learn from better-looking professors.”Beautiful women have it even better and get away with things ordinary people can’t. Try talking traffic policemen out of a challan, or walking in without a reservation and getting a table at that hot new restaurant or talking that male co-worker into helping you move some furniture. Beauty does make a difference. Beautiful women get more smiles, more handsome lovers, and better treatment and perhaps they expect it. Sometimes the beautiful woman has a bigger-than-life persona; higher than normal self-esteem coupled with the feeling that she is special and deserves the best can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.When does it all start, is this preference for “skin deep” beauty is hard wired into human genes, or it is only a social construct defined by social preference and norms? I remember an incident ,when I was about 5 years old I injured my palm, which needed dressing, my father took me to the hospital, and a beautiful nurse (I remember feeling so) did the bandage, I have very faint memory of her face, but have vivid memory of the incident which happened few days later, my hand needed redressing after few days, and my father took me to the hospital once again, but this time that nurse was off duty, and I did not allow the other nurse to even touch my hand, and raised hell. My father was a really sweet understanding father, or maybe he also liked that nurse, found out the address of that nurse who lived in the hospital premises and took me to her house and requested her for doing dressing to my hand, that kind nurse started laughing when my father said something to her in Urdu – which I heard but could not understand, but later I understood the meaning and about a child preference of beautiful faces. I suppose appreciation of beauty is more than a cultural construct. It is hard wired into our psyche in the process of evolution. In an article in New Scientist, Anna Gosline writes, “New-born babies prefer to look at attractive faces, says a UK researcher, suggesting that face recognition is hardwired at birth, rather than learned.Alan Slater and his colleagues at the University of Exeter showed paired images of faces to babies as young a one day old and found that they spent more time fixated on the more attractive face. “Attractiveness is not in the eye of the beholder, it’s innate to a new-born infant,” says Slater.Developmental psychologists have known for years that babies have preferences for certain objects, such as high contrast images, and curvy, biological shapes. Slater’s research, using extraordinarily young infants, supports the idea that babies are not mere blank slates, but instead come into the world with a well-developed perception system. The group took pictures of a variety of female faces and asked adult subjects presented to rate them for attractiveness. Subjects scored each face on a scale from 1 to 5. The researchers then searched for pairs of photographs that were similar in all respects – in brightness and contrast, for example – but at opposite ends of the attractiveness scale.They then presented these paired photographs to new-born infants, who ranged in age from one to seven days old. All babies were in the still in hospital after birth. One researcher held each infant upright about 30 centimetres away from the two photos. Another stood out of view and noted where the babies’ eyes were directed.Almost all the babies spent more time looking at the more attractive face than the less attractive one, says Slater.This near obsession towards beauty has a flip side also, all that glitters is not…….beautiful. Some would even say a dark side to beauty. How some beautiful women view them can border on obsessive. They cherish their looks and play them to the hilt, but if they find a blemish, a wrinkle, or a flaw, it can throw them into a panic. It can even have them inquiring around for a good plastic surgeon, new dietician, or workout guru.Low self-esteem is more common in beautiful women than you would expect. Some just don’t believe they are attractive. They have a distorted self-image and don’t believe others who tell them how stunning they are. Thus, in their mind everyone is a “liar” and not to be trusted. Some are dependent on the first impression reaction of others to define who they are, i.e. someone who has it all because of her beauty. So, she starts to see herself as someone with no talent, no intellect — no redeeming qualities other than her looks.Anorexia Nervosa, is a serious psychological disorder, which results from this over obsession towards one element of perceived beauty – being slim. The girls don’t eat and are on constant diet or purge or vomit after eating, fearing that they would become fat, and this obsession ultimately proves fatal, and they starve themselves to death. This disorder must have its origin in the socio-cultural construct and its definition of beauty.Appreciation for beauty apparently hardwired into us, but thinking something else as ugly is a cultural construct; perhaps. One should not be apologetic for loving beautiful things, faces, fragrances, and places, but one should not consider other things ugly or less beautiful. There is inherent beauty in every creation of God. It’s our limitation if we are not able to see it. So yes, beauty does lie in the eyes of the beholder as well. Enjoy beauty while being sensitive and sensible.
